My Free Agency

I can relate to unsigned free agents. I am currently wrapping up my job of 9+ years at the end of this month. In eighteen days to be exact, but who’s counting. So everyday things get tighter, I get more emotional, and simple things have so much meaning as some of them I am doing for the last time.

I will attend my final holiday party tomorrow night. I have been to many of these, some when there were only 4 attendees but tomorrow night there will be 14 of us. I have seen the company grow and shrink and have had revolving teammates over the years just like a free agent. I saw myself the veteran of this team and now the veteran is retiring.

I completely understand the stress of the unknown along with the question of where will I land that they have to go through on a daily basis. Waiting for a team to sign you or want you has to give even the biggest ego a little bit of self-doubt. It has to make you question your on field abilities. Will you like your new team, will you like your new coach or new town? Does any of that matter since you are a professional?

Are you able to just go and play the game that you are paid to do? Just focus on your swing and your season and the rest of it is just background and the setting the team mates don’t matter. My last month has not been an easy one. There have been a lot of emotions and growing on my part.  I’ll just call it a major league adjustment period where I have broken down my swing and my mind and tried to look back and dissect what I could have improved on. You try to keep emotion out of it but it’s hard and the loneliness is even harder as I don’t have an agent or a group of people who I pay to tell me things like I’m amazing and I’ll end up on a better team and with a better contract.

Do free agents look back to reflect or just try to look forward at the next opportunity that is coming their way? The season starts in 108 days but who’s counting?